Kimchi a l'expressionista

So spicy, so tangy, so tasty; it's kimchi! Sure you can buy it in the store but you either get pasturized crap or pay way too much for a little jar of "live" kimchi. The solution of course is to make your own or, saving that, feel free to make mine. It's packed with vitamins and a plethora of probiotics. Everything you need to get you through the sickness season plus hot peppers of course!

Kimchi a l'expressionista
Important: for this recipe, make sure all the kitchenware you use is clean and sterile. Make sure hands are washed, we're going to be fermenting this so we don't want to be adding anything that might contaminate the culture.

• 1 gallon jar for fermenting
• 2 med heads of napa cabbage
• 5 carrots with tops
• 5 sunchokes (jerusalem artichoke)
• 3 heads baby bok choy
• 1 finger of ginger, diced
• 5 green onions, chopped
  
• 2 tbsp paprika
• 10-15 dried aji peppers (feel free to substitute)
• 2 tsp sea salt
• black pepper to taste
  

The first step is to get into a fist fight with you cabbage. Upon peeling off the leaves, place them in a large metal container. Add salt. Now you're going to punch down into the bowl, hard enough to start to break down the cabbage, but hopefully not hard enough to hurt your fist. Toss in bok choy.

Set this aside and get out your food processor. Of course you can chop the veggies by hand but I'd suggest at least grating them to keep the chunks uniform. Grate the carrots and sunchokes. These will make up the bulk of the food for our culture. I used the carrots leafs after cleaning them and cutting them from the stalks. They make an excellent addition to the kimchi. Chop and toss in with the cabbage and bok choy, which should be softening because of the salt.

Time to spice it up! Stir in your ginger, green onions, paprika and peppers. Next stir in the contents of a probiotic capsule if you have one on hand. This will speed up the fermentation and reinforce the good bacteria. Top off with black pepper.

Next transfer mixture to your fermentation jar. Hopefully you come pretty close to filling up the gallon, the less room at the top the better. Push down on mixture with a ladel or large wooden spoon. It should be rather juicy by now. Insert a rolled up cabbage leaf into the top to keep the kimchi under the juice.

Set the kimchi somewhere it won't be disturbed for the next week. Room temp is ideal. In seven days time it should be ready. Taste it, you're looking for a tangy spicy taste. If it's not sour enough, let it sit for a few days longer.

Enjoy!

Tea Review: White Chai from Remedy Teas

I'm really picky about my chai. Being lucky enough to enjoy fresh brewed cup from scratch at a local cafe I suppose I'm a bit spoiled. When I make it for myself it usually involves pan-roasting the spices, adding fresh ginger and steeping the masala (spices) for at least an hour or so.

That's why I was taken aback by the White Chai (#18) from Remedy Teas. It's a mix designed for quick steeping which made me expect the weak Oregon Chai-like brew with a bit of a nasty aftertaste. This was nothing like that. While not as robust as a slow-brewed cup of home made chai it's a perfect everyday tea and best of all has the effervescent taste for which Silver Needle known balanced with cardamon, ginger, and all the other classic chai masala spices. It warms you up without getting you wired.

No-Cook Broccoli

I found a sumptuous head of romanesco broccoli at this week's farmer's market. It's like a broccoli with psychedelic swirls on the top. How to prepare without cooking though? The following is a method what's called "cold cooking": a very simply, very useful method for raw vegans. Take:

• 1 head broccoli, minced
  
• 2 tsp celtic sea salt

Toss them together in a large metal or glass bowl. Work it for a good two minutes, or until the salt has fully dissolved. Next add:

• 1 tsp hemp/flax oil
• 1 lemon, juiced
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 spicy pepper
• 2 tbsp red onion, chopped
  
• 1 tsp ginger minced (optional)

Toss these and then apply weight to the dish. Setting some heavy plates on top of the broccoli for an hour. Put in the refrigerator and allow to marinate for 16-24 hours. Now your broccoli is soft, tender, well seasoned and ready to serve!

Hot Pink Spaghetti Alfredo

For this recipe you're going to need a spiral vegetable slicer. You can find them all over the net and at Bed Bath and Beyond type stores. If you've got enough patience and skill you can make noodles with a vegetable peeler, but spiral slicers aren't too expensive so they're worth looking into. the one on the left is available on the net.

Spiralize the following

• 2 beets, zucchini, squash, 1 turnip, or 1 garnet yam (i used chiogga beets)

Toss in a large mixing bowl along with a few pinches of

• celtic sea salt

After tossing for a few minutes cover with heavy plates to smoosh the beet noodles. This procedure can be used on most starchy vegetables with the same results: the noodles become softer and tastier.

Next blend

• 5 macadamias
• 5 brazil nuts
• 1/8 cup water
• 5+ leaves fresh basil
• 3 cloves garlic
• 2 dates
• 1 lemon, juiced
  
• pinch sea salt

Once sauce has become smooth and creamy drain water from beets and pour on the sauce! Top with

• 1/4 small onion, chopped
  
• 1/4 small red pepper, chopped
  
• handful of sprouts
• pomegranate seeds to garnish

Enjoy!

Meat Eaters to Vegans: Just Stop It Already!

The College I attended is among the most progressive in the nation, both in terms of the students and the policy, diversity was embraced and even cultivated. One of the most popular classes was a gender studies course. You get the idea, not exactly a backwoods place.

And yet one of the biggest issues of contention was the cafeteria. The college's vegan population had finally forced the corporate entity which ran food services on campus to offer vegan options. These people were cheap as hell, and so you can imagine what horrible food choices were offered. Well now cut those choices in half and add equally horrible vegan food. You've got a recipe for a foodfight.

And that's what we got, on campus, in the newspaper, everywhere meat eaters complaining bitterly and blaming the vegans for the deteriorating conditions of campus chow. The vegans didn't want to eat the swill served by Aramark (yeah I'll call 'em out) so they ditched the meal plan en masse and started holding potlucks. Aramark was not pleased and twisted the administration's arm to ban any non-company food on campus. The vegans went underground.

I can see this theatre of the absurd replaying itself at Loyola and it makes me so sad

Soup! The thought pops into your head, a faint glimmer of hope at first, but soon a fantastic plan for salvation. You stride over to get yourself a nice hot bowl of hearty minestrone but gack! You are presented a choice between vegan potato leek and vegan lentil.

Obviously this guy doesn't like lentils and feels he needs actual meat. Of course he blames the vegans and just can't see why they have to be so "extreme". In between neanderthal grunts of meat-withdrawal he makes the stupid, yet pervasive argument that the existence of cage free eggs and "naturally" produced milk, whatever that means, indemnify him from any responsibility and make vegans and their "extremism" obsolete:

So, extremists, why not switch over to a more omnivorous lifestyle? I know that many of you take a moral issue with factory farming, and I agree with you. Mistreating farm animals is a horrible practice that we need to eradicate soon. But the fact of the matter is, hens are going to plop out an egg a day whether you eat it or not. Mama cows would still give enough milk to share between their calves and us, even if we stopped stuffing them with hormones. And unless you’re a baby, milking cows is a lot less creepy than drinking human milk.

Animal by-products can readily be consumed in an ethical way. If we do it right, we can promote the proper treatment of animals while living more moderate and well-rounded lives ourselves. Not to mention the fact that non-extremist soup tastes a lot better.

Translation: I have ethical concerns about this horrible food system of ours too, but have adopted the existence of less horrible methods as an excuse to not do anything about it. Your lifestyle reminds me that I'm not living up to my own inner ideals, therefore change it so I can go back to feeling like a non-hypocrite.

It's everywhere folks: Lierre Keith, the response to Foer's Eating Animals, even in your local university dining hall. And the interesting thing is, just like homophobia, the most passionate opposition to even the *existence* of veganism comes from those who most agree with the concept of veganism deep down inside. These people *are* vegans already, they just don't know it yet. They're in the closet even to themselves.

It's up to us to convince them it's safe to come out.

Raw Vegan Sushi Rolls

One of my all time favorites! I just perfected the recipe so I thought I'd share:
Pulse the following ingredients until coarsely chopped

• 3 stalks celery
• 1/4 red pepper
• 3 cremini mushrooms
• 1 handful parsley
• 1 handful dulse
• 5 green onions
  

Set aside in a large mixing bowl. Next, blend the following until smooth:

• 1/8 cup sunflower seeds, soaked and sprouted
• 1 lemon, juiced
• 1 clove garlic
• 1/2 jalapeno pepper
• small thumb of ginger
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 pinch sea salt
• 1 pinch kelp granules (skip this if you can't find it)

Pour over chopped veggies. Next take

• 5 sheets nori
• 1 cup sprouts of your choice (I use clover + radish)

Lay a nori sheet flat on a clean, dry cutting board. Spread a handful of sprouts across it in a horizontal line. Next pour mixture over the sprouts. Now roll it up, repeat, and enjoy!

Glenn Beck: Protecting Your Right to Heart Disease

Looks like Meatless Monday has got the right wing echo chamber up in arms. First they came for our guns, next they'll come for our hamburgers!



Glenn, please! Nobody's trying to take your Big Macs away, but maybe a meatless monday now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea unless you intend to lose your limbs to diabetes.